Tom Tom’s Story, part 1
My journey to working full-time with animals and recognizing my desire to exist with mutual respect and compassion with all animals came to light in 2019 with a foster cat named Tom - TomTom for long. I look back at my life and all the animals I’ve worked and lived with, and I am grateful for how they touched me and recognize they were slowly paving my path. Tom leaned into my heart and lit the fire of passion for this work.
Tom came into our home from an animal shelter, at least 10 years old, after being relinquished due to his guardian’s failing health. He lost his mom, his dog brother, and his home in one day, ending up in a kennel awaiting a foster home or an adopter. He was cage aggressive due to fear and too despondent to eat and drink to support his health.
Tom came to our home as a foster, and I was determined to “save” him. I smothered him around the clock and begged him to eat for the first two days and nights. He responded only with purrs and requests for pets - still unwilling to eat. I decided I would allow him to make the choice whether he wanted to eat and live. I told him I would respect whatever decision he made - I truly meant it.
After taking my focus and expectations off him for a full 8 hours and focusing on myself and my home, TomTom ate a decent meal in my absence. He taught me a beautiful and poignant lesson about animal agency, the power of respect, and his lack of need to be saved by me.
This lesson is the essence of The Empowered Companion.
I made a well-intentioned but misdirected change from a corporate role in Global Risk Management to directing a small animal shelter, partially to help more animals like Tom and partially to quell my personal trauma by saving lives. While this change ultimately wasn't the right career fit, it was the catalyst for the most important spiritual and emotional journey of my life.
I intended to heal and save animals at that shelter, and instead the animals taught me grace, mercy, forgiveness, and unconditional love.
Before leaving us a few months into my shelter endeavors, TomTom taught me a few more lessons. Shortly after officially adopting him, he was diagnosed with diabetes, followed soon after by Lymphoma. He was gentle and accepting of his medication and remained loving, compassionate, playful, and whole throughout.
I struggled to let him go when it was time. Tom stood on my chest and looked me straight in the eyes one night - all pupils from pain. I knew he was telling me it was time, and my response was “I’m not ready.” I held on longer than he wanted – I couldn’t listen, connect, and accept his needs. The sound of my own pain and grief overpowered his gentle request. I still wanted to “save” him, and I wanted to shield myself from another loss in life.
Within just a few days, Tom progressed to a point that I could not overlook. After we said good-bye, my path was clear. I knew I needed to find new ways to move toward working directly with animals and their humans, to foster open, sustainable environments to nourish the positive behaviors, connection, and companionship that spring from overall wellness of being.
This article is brought to you by The Empowered Companion, a platform dedicated to enriching family life through mindful and compassionate practices with our animal friends.
